Book of Rememberance

Malachi 3:16

Life = Frustration?

on October 27, 2011

I have so many things going on right now its hard for me to even think about what to write. I still have a couple of drafts in the process of much-needed attention as well. Ahh!

Anyhow, the one thing that’s been on my mind most this past week or so is frustration. I am completely frustrated. [Defined as: Feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, esp. because of inability to change or achieve something.] Mostly because the things I am believing the Lord for are things out of both of our control.

Just in case I will mention I believe that God is in control of all things, but He has given some of that to us in the form of free will and He will not make people act or do things against their will. When things are involving other people its hard because we can never guarantee that they will hear the Lord or follow His will – which will in turn affect us in some way if the answer to our prayer is in relation to their choices/will in the end. Grrr to all that 🙂

God has really be trying to get through to me in this area, I know it. I’m just having a hard time understanding and fully accepting that many people I love wont hear from Him or follow His will. My heart is terribly broken and the only thing that can currently end heartbreak is for this person to finally accept the Call of Jesus in his life. Without that, my heartache will continue indefinitely until Jesus Himself removes the pain in His Perfect time.

Crying daily is a “normal” part of life through this process. I was taught that time does not heal all wounds – Only Jesus Christ can do that! It’s very true. His comfort is something to really cherish. I have only been this heartbroken one other time in my life and I have known the comfort of the Messiah like none other. Through this pain I still worship, through the hurt I still trust. Through the tears I can sing. This is the Proof of God! Those without Christ do not have the same hope of healing, and joy despite it all, pain, tears and emptiness. Philippians 4:7.

I am ever thankful for His holding me up. The truth is in His Word. He never gives us more than we can handle. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (If we are handling it through His strength and power; Philippians 4:13 Apart from Him we can do nothing John 15:5) I find the extent to which that is true amazing.  I am currently in some of the most excruciatingly painful moments I have dealt with in my life and yet I still have enough life and joy in me to more than carry me through. I have been more than happy and energetic through these past two months of hurting. Romans 8:37.  It’s like a supernatural “genki” [Japanese word for energy, feelings and vitality] comes over me to get me through my days and then when I get home the cup is full and its time to pour the pain out on the altar and wait on the Lord for His peace, love,  and comfort.

His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23) – AMEN! that is what I believe is getting me through my days. I have been with no apparent side effects. I haven’t slept hardly at all, yet as tired as I am at work I’ m able to do as good a job as usual, have fun with the kids and still manage to go to Japanese school and learn decently there as well! It’s a miracle from God – He is empowering me to do all things Through Him!

If you have a problem, turn to Him. Lay it at the altar and ask Him to carry the burdens. He will graciously do it! (Matthew 11:28)  Having pains really isn’t fun, but having Jesus so close through them makes them…almost worth it!



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