Book of Rememberance

Malachi 3:16

Get a Life!

Matthew 16:25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

save his life – salvage, protect, keep, prevent from loss.

his life – not Gods life for him, but his own life, his own hopes, dreams, visions, the life he planned and wanted for himself

shall lose it – Gods blessing wont/can’t be there. We may get what we want for a short time, but it is doomed from the start. Eventually everything we had will be lost, there may be a remnant but the form it took form the start of being the desired life will be lost.

If I lose this life I wanted, the one I planned for HIS SAKE, this is the only sake that is worth giving your dreams up for. I think this is a big lesson in itself. Giving up dreams for anyone or anything else besides Jesus is also worthless. For lack of vision people perish. (this would have to be a whole new posting/topic) but giving up dreams, wants and desires and surrendering them to Him we will find the TRUE Life. the HIGHER Life. the Life that can’t be lost, and is the only one that can truly satisfy – forever. It is the only Life with a guarantee. Nothing in this world is guaranteed. However, Jesus’ Word comes with that guarantee. We will find it. We will get that Life – the One He has desired for us to live and only then will we be truly satisfied.

Gain the world  – but lose the soul. Our soul is described as our mind, will and emotions. I think this is two-fold. To the multitude and hypocrites He is talking about their eternal life; but His disciples were also there. He was talking to them and us as much as to those who are without. So I think for us who have given up parts of our lives for Jesus – to follow Him then He still has a message for us aswell. If we choose to be following Him but still trying to salvage the dreams and life we had envisioned then we are in danger of losing our soul. Is this a heaven/hell thing? I don’t think so, not for the Redeemed. But I think there are ways Christians who love Jesus can lose their soul. We can be living for the Lord and striving for combining the two together and in the end we end up missing out on great things in His Life. We allow ourselves to be guided by emotions instead of the Holy Spirit. We will continue to live in fear, frustration, discontented, and uncertainty. I know I lived my life as a Christian under these circumstances for too long and I also know this is NOT His Plan, or His Vision for our lives!

Only when we truly surrender to His Life and lose our life for HIS SAKE can we truly possess The Life that He has died for us to live.

I’m learning this right as I type this out. Everything I have ever wanted in my life is standing in front of me. And it will take every ounce of Faith and Trust In the Lord that I can muster to allow me to lose that for His Sake. To embrace His Life for me and lose the life I have been dreaming of for nearly 25 years.

I have no doubt that He will give me the strength and desire to do this. And I am a little bit excited about what He has in store. But from this day forward will be trying times like no other I think. Through Him I will overcome!

God will finish just what He started, even if the waters got to be parted, I’ll lift up my hands and not be broken-hearted, God will finish what He started in me!

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Its all about me!

The past two days I have been thinking about….ME!

Its one of those life reflection things we go through I guess. I’m not sure exactly. I was reading a pretty good book last night (Return of the Raider) it’s basically about a POW who bombed Japan and was captured after the bombing, held in solitary war prison for a few yrs and he became a christian in the prison and vowed to return to Japan if/when he got out to be a missionary and share the Love of Jesus. (Run on sentence anyone?!) It’s a great read and I can understand a lot of his perspective having lived in Japan now about 5 years (wow that long?!)

Anyhow something in the book really made me think. He said that he wished he liked himself more. He was so tired of spending time with himself. Couldn’t stand the thought of more time alone with …him. It made me think about how I am very similar.

I don’t hate myself or anything. Actually I enjoy time alone. However most of my alone time is spent “working” on me!  I have learned so much and God is always in the process of conforming us to His Image. But on the other hand I’m never really alone. I have my books, my teachings, my hang ups, my criticisms ect with me the whole time.

I was watching Joyce Meyer today. I Love her but havent watched her in ages (because of said books!) So I randomly clicked on a past episode. I laughed when I heard she was going to teach on the self. taking care of yourself and learning to love yourself. Enjoying spending time with yourself. I was cracking up! God is too funny that way!

One thing she said was that the Bible teaches us to love others as we love ourselves. Yikes. I sure hope I’m nicer to other people than I am to myself.  She pointed out that if you expect perfection from yourself you will expect it from others, if your are critical of your self you will be that way with others.

This is very much me! I don’t consider myself a smart person. I’m no idiot but I am not particularly smart.  But since I don’t consider myself to be too quick, I get really frustrated and annoyed with people who can’t do/get what I do. It’s funny because its out of a compliment that my frustration comes. You are obviously smarter than me… whats your problem!  If I can figure this out……whats your problem. I never expect more from others than from myself. I am not hypocritical in that way. I treat myself the way I treat others often worse. I give myself no mercy/second chances/leeway or rest – you can just imagine how pleasant I am with others.

When  things grab my attention and peak my interest I find that almost always its God communicating with me about my life. So next comes the confirmation. And without fail God comes through with a different source saying something on the same topic that helps me to put the pieces together like a puzzle. This topic is obviously of interest to Him regarding me. So here begins another journey, trying to learn this idea about “love others as yourself” when really first I need to learn to love myself.  The Bree Jesus died for. The Child of God created in His Image, being constantly conformed to that Image more and more by His Loving Hands.

As I type this I am thinking to myself YADDA (Japanese for yuck, uhhhg ,grrr) I don’t wanna! I don’t want to learn about myself. I don’t want to face myself any deeper. I definitely don’t want to face the garbage that is inside me, but how can I love others if I don’t first take this path with the Lord? I know it will bring up a lot junk but, in the back of my mind I think – this will make me a better mate and allow me to love again. So… here it goes! Yadda!

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To tithe or not to tithe….That is Not the question!

For some reason Tithing is on my mind these days. I’m not sure what God is wanting to teach me but I am open to More of Him and its His money anyhow so whatever He wants to spend it on is fine by me! (Psalm 24:1, 1 Cor. 10:26)

I find God’s economy to be rather amazing. I don’t know who’s reading this  – if anyone. I am def not here to “argue” about tithing. Fact is the Bible says to do it. Yes even New Testament believers, others wise we may as well throw out all the promises from the OT along with His guidelines, we can’t pick and choose Gods Word from those that we like and those we wish weren’t in there!

A couple other things on that is basically Jesus “corrected” those things from the OT He wanted changed (you have heard it written_____ BUT I say _____” (Matthew 5) so unless Jesus said it was changed I’m guessing it’s still in place. Not to mention He tells the hypocrites NOT to neglect tithing. “You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former”. (Matthew 23:23)

I have also heard people try to use Paul’s words to avoid tithing about deciding in you heart and being a joyful giver. (2 Cor. 9:7) However this isn’t talking about Tithing at all its talking about Offerings. Those are two different things! One God has set the parameters for the other He asks us to give freely from out of our abundant blessings.

I have never met a person who tithes, argue against tithing. Those of us who know the blessings and miracles of tithing KNOW that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. His promises likewise will not pass away.Nor do his parameters for His life. If my church doesn’t teach about tithing they are stealing a blessing God wants to pour out. And if my church is “big enough, or rich enough” to not “have to teach” on it then that means they aren’t giving enough! God is not a hoarder, nor should we be! A bit of savings is fine but not at the expense of the Kingdom.

I have not always been “good” with money. I didn’t learn how to handle money till I was in my 20s But I am so thankful I did! And then after becoming Christian Jesus began to teach me about money and studied in-depth what God has to say about money.

I have seen so many miracles it is unbelievable. Do I believe that God provides miracles to non-tithers? Of course. Is it a heaven/hell thing? I don’t think so. BUT I do think that there is something special reserved for those who Walk with God, His way.  I have a good job. It pays me WAY more than I ever need, I’m blessed in that. But a lot of people make good money and most probably make more than me. But on any given day I can walk in to work and be handed money. Random and no reason. “Just a thank you for working hard” ” I saw that you worked late” (I already get paid overtime) the list goes on and on! Most recent is the 700$ she handed me this week for wanting to keep my job! Shocking! Now, I have the same job and same boss and work the same way as I have always worked, but I can tell you that I didn’t have these “bonuses” until after I started Tithing.

I guess this is my testimony time! I felt God leading me to take Japanese Classes. I saw the price and didn’t have the money on the day it was due. I went to take out the enrollment fee and shock! I had exactly what I knew I left in that account PLUS the entire amount to pay for the class. Were talking tuition fee here, not just a couple hundred dollars! God is not a cheapo! This months miracle is that I have almost half my pay from last month still sitting in the account untouched. You’d know the miracle that is if you knew how much I give, how much I pay for rent and how much I eat! (plus Nick Carter was in town this week and that cost me a few hundred also) It doesn’t add up! Gods economy is not in +\- He MULTIPLIES!!!

I feel God is calling me to a higher level of giving, AKA Promotion time! I am excited to see what He has in store next!  I look forward to being a blessing to more people and cant wait to see where He guides His resources through me.

Our God is a generous God, John 3:16 for God so loved the world that He GAVE. I love that, that characterizes God exactly. How about me? Can that be written about me? For Bree so Loved God that she GAVE? How about you?

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Armour of God?

Ephesians 6:14

This is one of those topics that if you have been a christian for a while or gone to church any length of time will surely have come up. And rightly so. We need it!

In fact I can say for myself that I have not learned nearly enough about it! I’m still not really sure exactly what it all means or exactly HOW to do this. Any insight would be Greatly appreciated! Please!

I studied it out a bit and have much, much more studying to do I know, but at any rate these are a few of the notes I made.

One of the things I found interesting is that often I had heard that perhaps Paul was using the idea about the Armour because he was chained to a Roman soldier. This is very possibly true, however, these verses are by no means unique to Paul’s writing or the New Testament. “For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head” (Isaiah 59:17). I thought that was pretty cool!

Another thing that I have heard a few times through teachings is that there is no armor for the back. God has made no provision for running away from the battle, we are to stand!

Belt of Truth: not an accessory, but necessity. It is required piece of armor! Jesus is our center and His truth is meant to center us and hold everything in place.

Breastplate of Righteousness: Protects the heart, we are told to guard our heart with all diligence – this is the best way to do that! Not our righteousness but the kind provided by God and is the righteousness of God! (phil.3:9)

Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: Bring Jesus and Peace everywhere we go/step. How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news! (Nahum 1:15, Is. 52:7, Romans 10:15)

ABOVE ALL –shield of Faith: It blocks/ hides us. This got me thinking about how God Hides us! We are hidden in God is says throughout Psalms for example 119:114 even Calls God our Shield!! 32:7 our hiding place. and 1 John 5:4 tells us exactly why this is Above ALL –“For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith”.  Colossians 3:3 Tells us we are hidden in God!

Helmet of Salvation: Well Christ is our head! We are protected by salvation. I picture (maybe not correctly but whatever) a helmet that covers the whole head and face. So in that case our thoughts are to be filtered through salvation we have the mind of Christ! (1 cor. 2:16) When we speak it is through saved lips, and whatever we hear comes through saved ears and spiritual hearing, just as what we see much be filtered through saved/ spiritual eyes.

Sword of the Spirit: The word of God! But it is our weapon. Soldiers aren’t just given weapons and then sent to battle. They are trained! They spend hours learning how to wield the sword – likewise we need to be trained for battle, taught and practice using the sword appropriately and which “technique” or “move” for which situation. But another amazing thing I learned is that the meaning in Greek of the word sword is actually what we would say in english more specifically to be a dagger. It is not a big long sword! That was amazing to me. The battle is close at hand – within arms reach and we need to be trained how to use our weapon appropriately! (interestingly Romans were the fist to use dagger like swords and the soldiers were heavily trained in technique and tactic to overcome their enemies who had the long traditional swords – fascinating stuff!)

And lastly in the KJV there is no period between the last sentence of sword of spirit and the next sentence of praying for all things in the spirit. That made me thing it kinda goes together. When we pray Gods word out loud something happens in the spirit realm, things are shifted, and damage is done to the enemy. Interceding for all saints and that those (and us) but those in the position to declare the Word of God, would have utterance and speak boldly and declare  the Gospel!. Paul needed that and so do we and our leaders, missionaries, and teachers today. Pray, Pray, Pray and be strategic in your prayers. This is true war, and we are in the midst of the battle this very moment!

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.(Eph. 6:12)

The command (not suggestion!) therefore is intentional. PUT ON, God wont do it for you, He Provides the Armor but WE must put it on! This also is an active Command, there is a Doing that takes place. It wont just be on us but we must do the act of PUTTING ON!

Thank you Lord for providing us with everything we need to stand firm in this time You have placed us. May we be courageous for You and Your kingdom! Teach us how to correctly use our Swords and how to PUT on our WHOLE Armor, in Jesus Most Powerful Name.

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Complications of the Heart

Do I ever have a ton to say! haha

I’ll try to keep this short?? and readable though. I have been feeling Gods hand of preparation on me these days. I feel He is preparing me for a partner in a way I have never been ready before. Not that I think it will be anytime soon necessarily. Since this has started (in this way about 2 weeks ago or so) I have come to learn so much about myself and about others around me.

Whether through books or blogs or just by meeting, I have had the opportunity to have an understanding about both myself and women in general in a deeper more intimate way.

I recently read a book that has continued to bless me even after having put it down. It is surprising in the fact that it is not typically a style of writing or genre I would normally pick up or continue to read after the 1st couple of chapters. But this book has really changed my look at myself and those women around me. And also Gods heart. He continues to whisper to me through the writing.

One thing I really feel the need to express right now is that I am not a computer. I am a women, complicated in all her glory as the image of God Himself.  I have always known myself to be a bit “overly complicated” a bit more emotional (in thought) and tend to think rather deeply and expansive – even more than most women I know. I have always known this about myself. People do not get me.

I have come to embrace this about me. I had always felt something that until now was never put into words. I have always felt I am just “too much” and at the same time “not enough”. I am a handful. I am thinker, talker and communicator. I love to work things out – I’m real “mental” that way:)

But at the same time I have always felt like a failure, not enough woman, not quiet enough, not sweet enough, not merciful enough, not pretty enough, not clean enough, not strong enough on and on it goes.

So on the one hand of feeling like “too much” (even my pastor has lovingly said that Only God could handle me) and “not enough” I have had this agony of trying to be whatever I think I should be, not even knowing what exactly that is!

So my point  – I am not a computer. I am a deeply emotional, in all areas. Everything I do,think and live is done passionately. Nothing is ever “basic” with me. Feelings, thoughts and emotions can never be classified or put into a category. When I talk about a friend – it is much deeper than someone I hang out with. It goes even farther than that to the very core of my heart where God resides in His Friendship with me. When I talk about love it doesn’t  mean “in love” and has nothing to do with a partner or mate. Though I am hoping to share that with someone once again, now is not the time. God has made that perfectly clear and as He turns the rivers, so He turns my heart.(Proverbs 21:1) He has set me free! Praise His Holy Name! (Literally – Now, take a second to do so!) When I talk about heartbreak I am so much deeper than “we didn’t work out” I go to the very essence of the soul, right to the spirit level and feel the pain of eternal separation from the Holy Father whose loving hands have crafted and molded us, each one. I have had my share of break ups, they suck. But I’m hardly phased anymore. Disappointed? Yes, but I know His hand is on my life and when He ordains something there is no holding back, there is no residue from the fall out. In this case there is only pain of the child breaking the heart of the Father.

I have come to learn a few things the last little while. One being: men do not understand the heart of women. Nor do they try. They simply try to mold, change, and classify. Another thing I have learned. I need a man whose heart beats with Gods. A man who understands the heart of God will surely understand mine as well – seeing as it is fashioned after His Image, the women showing one facet of Christ while men show another. I no longer desire a Godly man……But…… A Man Of God. One from Him. Sent from His very throne to me, one who is after Gods own heart  – which would be me in this situation. The one Who finds his pearl of great price, (the price being for as long as we both shall live…) the one who sells everything to buy the field in which I am hidden. By the way that field needs tilling, and plowing, fertilizing and attention. Loving Care of a vine dressers hands, heart and determination – to grow me up.

Thank you Lord for making this possible, in Jesus Glorious Name!

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