Book of Rememberance

Malachi 3:16

Finally!

Finally! A chance to get on here and write some thoughts down! Japanese class is currently taking up all my “free time” (whatever that is?) but I’m thankful for this evening to share some thoughts and prayers.

I feel like I’m climbing a mountain these days and as I’m making my way up this mountain I periodically get stopped on various levels.  I am currently stopped at the level/plateau I will call “Proverbs 3:5-6”  At this time I feel at a complete stop. There is nowhere to go and I have no ability to climb anymore until I accomplish whatever it is that God is wanting me to learn at this current place on my journey.

Its been such an awesome blessing from God that I have a couple of friends I can meet with during the week to do the bible study with. It’s a great thing to get together and talk about what we think it means to live out verses in our daily lives.

That’s mainly what I am all about and what my own journey with Gods Word is focused on. I am desperate to learn and understand how to apply Gods Word to my every day life and how to live at the level and in the expectation that God has for my own life. I can not do this alone! And God has provided me with a great couple of friends who are helping me learn to how to apply the verses in a way that God is living through me… at least that’s the goal – I have yet to succeed 100% but Praise Him for His patience 🙂

I go through so many cycles and ups and downs. It’s frustrating to feel that I have finally broke through in an area and moved past struggles or hang ups ect.. only to find that a few months or even a year later I am back in the same thought process or slump again. Though I have seen much progress in the work that God is doing, I also see how much I need to rely on Him and trust in Him to complete the work in me that needs to be done.

I just wanted to get on here and share these thoughts, in order to prepare my mind and heart for my next post which is in progress – talking about what I am gleaning from studying Proverbs 3:5-6. I have been studying these verses for about 3.5 weeks now with at least one more week on this study if not longer depending on how it goes. God has been gracious to illuminate things for me and allow me to see my life through these verses.

Though I haven’t quite understood all that Gos has for me through these verses, I am thankful for the little bit He has helped me to grasp through the study and small group discussions. It has also been a great way for me to see exactly where I am…and not in my walk with Him.

I already know trust is a bit of a difficult thing for me , mostly when it reaches to the depths of my heart. A lot of it has to do with pride, its easy for me to trust God in things that I have more control over…. those other areas where I have little to no control, I struggle with trusting Him completely and its a constant fight for me to learn to surrender and give them up to Him.

One of my friends voiced very clearly the fears within my own heart when it comes to trusting God. Because of course I trust Him to a large degree, I trust in Who He Is, and His strength, wisdom, ability, goodness, and character. I also trust in His Promises…. so whats left you ask? Seems I got it all covered .

But the truth is in understanding which of the promises of God are for me specifically. Not all are and I need to accept that and appreciate the promises that God has made to me and spoken over my own life, and not compare and think about the promises of God that are not apart of His plan for the life He has in mind for me.

Its a terrifying thing for me to pray to God and be open to hear what He has planned for my life, its much easier for me to pray to God about what I would like to see happen in my life and leave it at that. I am striving to push through this stage in my walk with God, and mature to a higher level with Him.

Please pray for me as I have quite a lot of growing to do!

My prayer also is that the Lord will allow His Word to become active and living in my life so that I may use this life for His purpose and Glory and surrender all the parts in me I am still refusing Him access or even partnership in. I thank You so very much Lord for your patience and ask You to help me also to be patient with You and Your timing in my life God. I ask You in Your mercy to not allow me to get ahead of You or even myself Father, But that I can rest in You and wait for Your perfect Will in all things. In the power of Jesus Name I commit these words to You and seal them with a grateful heart and appreciation for your love and commitment to my life. Amen.

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