Book of Rememberance

Malachi 3:16

Where is my faith based?

This question jolted me this morning!

For the past few weeks, I have been in an emotional upheaval. I tend to over prepare for things and prepare early enough for things to allow ample time to drive myself crazy. So I have been busy!

Needless to say all of the changes that will be happening for our family and the move out of Japan for my husband in 5 months from now has left me completely on edge to a million things. So as I have been having the sleepless nights, and the mental scenarios of good, bad and worse playing in my mind for weeks. It has left me a hot mess!

That brings me to the question I was faced with a few minutes ago. This pretty much sums up the issues I have been having for the past couple of weeks in dealing with the coming changes.

Q: “Do you base your faith on what I do, or who I am?”

I found the root of my anxiety, fear and dread! I unintentionally and incorrectly based my faith on what God does.

This was easy for a long time where things have been going along quite smoothly with very little changes. Who I think God is was matching up nicely with the things I see God doing.

In this past season God was working on changing me internally and for these particular things He was merciful enough to come at them from only one side. However, now that season is coming to a close and the new chapter requires some application! A hands on exam on everything I have been studying and praying about. I wasn’t  ready for this! Now not only do I have to keep myself in check internally I need to do it physically and publicly as well. (Self-control? What? Again?!)  Show ’em what I’m made of as they say  (or sing?). (sorry couldn’t resist, not planned but it is a nice touch! haha)

I’m sad to say I haven’t been showing very much of what I need to these days. (Matt 7:16-17)

But, thanks to God, that He has shown me exactly where my disconnect is! The trouble with having Faith in what He does is that His ways are not our ways, (Is. 55:8-9) and many times it doesn’t make much sense to us from this Earthly view. It is sometimes hard for me to see the goodness of WHO He is if I only look at what is being done. This faith is the exact opposite of what I  know the Word says about living by faith and NOT by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7) having faith in what God does is all about having faith in what I can see.

Faith in WHO God is however, is all about the God who is who He says He is! What I know about God’s Character can be seen through His Word and how He describes Himself. Also, Jesus says that to look at His ways is to see the Father. (John 14:7,9) It’s sight based on the view God gives us, and not the sight based on what we can see by ourselves in the natural.

A faith that is based on God as all loving, knowing, powerful, caring, forgiving merciful, slow to anger, kind, generous ect. ect. can easily stand against actions that do not seem to be in agreement at the time. Because I trust that God is all the things listed above (and more) then it is possible to experience even the situations that are unlovely without questioning God’s love.

This is not easy nor does it come natural for me. But it is an active fight that I sense strong in me right now. I am contending for my faith and I need to lift my eyes from what I see, to the Lord who is unseen in order to get the correct view of the situation.

So for now I am winning the fight! I am content, excited for the new changes, ready to face it all, and my faith is steadfast in Gods goodness. I fear NOTHING right now! He is in control and He is trustworthy.

But in a few minutes, hours, or days the outcome of this fight may turn and I could be close to losing it (as I was yesterday and have felt the defeat for the past couple of weeks). But the great thing is that now I have found the crack in my faith foundation and I can get to work on fixing those things that would threaten my stability in Christ.

Fight the Good fight of faith, contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. (1 Tim. 6:12, Jude 1:3)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment »

%d bloggers like this: