Book of Rememberance

Malachi 3:16

Bondage and Freedom

I was reading the other day and came across something that really made me appreciate God’s precepts all the more. The quote that jumped out at me impacted my understanding of why God goes to such lengths to make sure we know His Ways and what His Laws really are. I’m sure you have heard it said many times that God’s rules are for our good and not to keep us from happiness? Most parents and people who spend time with children are easily able to understand this concept but it is still so hard to live out sometimes! I also find it even harder to explain and express to non believers about why I do or do not want to do certain things. It’s always usually a matter of them feeling much more “free” to make their own choices and not have to answer to anyone (yet!) but this little snippet might come in handy next time I find myself in a situation with a non-believer who may not be able to understand my lifestyle.

“Freedoms have but corresponding bondage, example one can be free from teeth brushing but then be in bondage to cavities. Likewise, being free from cavities negates ones bondage to brushing. You really cannot enjoy freedom from one without a bondage to the other.”

In a Christian’s life, we have some guardrails the Lord put down clearly for us, in order to keep us free from certain things that would be destructive and detrimental to us. However, we can be clear we are in a sort of bondage to the Lord as we follow His regulations. but how free we are from the horrible bondage that we have traded in!

So from now on, when people make comments about how I can’t do anything, and God is a Dictator over my life, I may just respond with a positive YES! and I am so thankful He is, because I may be in bondage to following His rules and His ways, but I am oh-so-free from sin, destruction, shame, and guilt and ultimate death that always follow going my own way and the way of those in bondage to the world.

Problem is they do not know they are in bondage too. My own may seem a bit more overt, but theirs is taking a toll on their life – make no mistake. They are slaves to society, its governing leader satan, and following the norms and expectations of those around them, also slaves to not offending others, fearing what others may think or say about them and in real bondage to having to take care of themselves. I am Free from all of that! On top of it all I get to serve a real King in a real Kingdom, who is for His people, and has done everything in His power to make my life worth living. Who better to bind myself to then the One who can exceed at everything I can not?

Are you free today to bind yourself in bondage to be a slave to the Master of love, kindness, goodness, patience, holiness and beauty?

This comic sums up what I was thinking in about 5 seconds! and You can find Paul’s’ (much better!) explanation of this whole topic in Romans chapter 6, so choose this day who you will serve!



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That’s how I have been feeling these days. It’s as if God has placed me in a small box and turned the heat up. He has been using this as an opportunity to mature and grow me in areas that I have been struggling with for a long time.

I am so thankful He has done it “incubation style” instead of what I have been begging for. He knows I likely can not handle being baptized with fire. [Matt. 3:11]  (Though, I do still ask for this almost daily!) I can honestly say I feel the heat but I know this is nothing that I could be living out if God were to actually give me what I ask for. Yikes.

For quite a while I have been really feeling like God has been preparing me and working on me for something, problem is for over a year I have yet to discover what this “something” actually is! It is frustrating to have an inclination toward something, yet not know what it is your waiting for. I wonder how many others deal with this type of feeling in their relationship with the Holy Spirit?

It is kinda frustrating! but I submit to Him and His ways, I know they are far above my own! And in the meantime I will continue to desire more of Him. I have been blessed with a lot of “free time”recently since I am not working and do not have any real responsibilities outside of keeping the house up and cooking dinner. Its been so strange to have so much time, but I have decided and made a point to not waste this time but to redeem it for the Glory of my Lord.

I have been called to spend much more time in prayer, and thanks to all of this time I now have, I am able to intercede like never before and spend more time waiting on the Lord and listening to Him as well. This has been one of the things I have prayed about since getting married – and God has opened the door for me to commit myself to extended bouts of prayer. I refuse to ignore this call and I refuse to waste the time. (for the days are evil! Eph. 5:16)

Pray without Ceasing!

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Where is my faith based?

This question jolted me this morning!

For the past few weeks, I have been in an emotional upheaval. I tend to over prepare for things and prepare early enough for things to allow ample time to drive myself crazy. So I have been busy!

Needless to say all of the changes that will be happening for our family and the move out of Japan for my husband in 5 months from now has left me completely on edge to a million things. So as I have been having the sleepless nights, and the mental scenarios of good, bad and worse playing in my mind for weeks. It has left me a hot mess!

That brings me to the question I was faced with a few minutes ago. This pretty much sums up the issues I have been having for the past couple of weeks in dealing with the coming changes.

Q: “Do you base your faith on what I do, or who I am?”

I found the root of my anxiety, fear and dread! I unintentionally and incorrectly based my faith on what God does.

This was easy for a long time where things have been going along quite smoothly with very little changes. Who I think God is was matching up nicely with the things I see God doing.

In this past season God was working on changing me internally and for these particular things He was merciful enough to come at them from only one side. However, now that season is coming to a close and the new chapter requires some application! A hands on exam on everything I have been studying and praying about. I wasn’t  ready for this! Now not only do I have to keep myself in check internally I need to do it physically and publicly as well. (Self-control? What? Again?!)  Show ’em what I’m made of as they say  (or sing?). (sorry couldn’t resist, not planned but it is a nice touch! haha)

I’m sad to say I haven’t been showing very much of what I need to these days. (Matt 7:16-17)

But, thanks to God, that He has shown me exactly where my disconnect is! The trouble with having Faith in what He does is that His ways are not our ways, (Is. 55:8-9) and many times it doesn’t make much sense to us from this Earthly view. It is sometimes hard for me to see the goodness of WHO He is if I only look at what is being done. This faith is the exact opposite of what I  know the Word says about living by faith and NOT by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7) having faith in what God does is all about having faith in what I can see.

Faith in WHO God is however, is all about the God who is who He says He is! What I know about God’s Character can be seen through His Word and how He describes Himself. Also, Jesus says that to look at His ways is to see the Father. (John 14:7,9) It’s sight based on the view God gives us, and not the sight based on what we can see by ourselves in the natural.

A faith that is based on God as all loving, knowing, powerful, caring, forgiving merciful, slow to anger, kind, generous ect. ect. can easily stand against actions that do not seem to be in agreement at the time. Because I trust that God is all the things listed above (and more) then it is possible to experience even the situations that are unlovely without questioning God’s love.

This is not easy nor does it come natural for me. But it is an active fight that I sense strong in me right now. I am contending for my faith and I need to lift my eyes from what I see, to the Lord who is unseen in order to get the correct view of the situation.

So for now I am winning the fight! I am content, excited for the new changes, ready to face it all, and my faith is steadfast in Gods goodness. I fear NOTHING right now! He is in control and He is trustworthy.

But in a few minutes, hours, or days the outcome of this fight may turn and I could be close to losing it (as I was yesterday and have felt the defeat for the past couple of weeks). But the great thing is that now I have found the crack in my faith foundation and I can get to work on fixing those things that would threaten my stability in Christ.

Fight the Good fight of faith, contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. (1 Tim. 6:12, Jude 1:3)













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I hate that word, don’t you?  I hate it for a number of obvious reasons – most importantly being that God Himself hates it! (The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished. Proverbs 16:5)

But I can attest with most of you that likely pride has gotten us into some trouble…or a lot of trouble!

I have been studying about pride a LONG time. I mean years! Yes, I said years. You would think by now I could have moved on to something else? Ya, I expected the same. Sadly pride is so deeply woven into my being, it is taking much more than I anticipated to put an end to it. I figure I have been proud since at least kindergarten. (Though likely even early than that.) I was the only one in my class who could read and I [my pride] REMEMBERS that!  Were talking 25+ years of pride getting into every part of my being/soul/mind.

So what can it take to get it out? God! Of course the answer is always God, ’nuff said. We can pray and trust Him and be living lovely pride-free lives from here on out. Yay!

Except here is what we are facing: 2 Chronicles 7:14, Matthew 23:12, James 4:6,10,    1 Peter 5:6. This one little phrase has continued to cause me struggle after struggle. Humble YOURSELF. Oh man, what’s this? I thought God was going to do that for me?

Humility lesson #1 God responds to the humble.

I need to be humble enough to prostrate myself before His mighty hand and allow Him to drive out the pride from my life. He will do it in fact, but only for the humble heart that seeks His pruning, and acknowledges that I a) need pruning, and b) cannot drive out the pride in my own strength, power or trying. Turns out I may be studying a lot on the topic, but I am not actually pressing towards humility as a characteristic of my personality. I am still only reading, and praying (very hard!) that it will go away. I realized the discrepancy comes from my belief in the power of my prayer and not in the One to whom I am praying. I may very well be praying to and with myself. (Luke 18:11)

Humility lesson #2 God has given us the Holy Spirit. 

No I did not earn the Holy Spirit nor was God obligated to give Him to me for all that I have done/ not done.  But I have the Holy Spirit as a gift from God because He simply wanted to give Him to me, and wanted to invite me into His family. The result is that I can have conviction for prideful behaviour and numerous opportunities to practice humbling myself, repenting and asking forgiveness from God and others. Every opportunity to be prideful is an equal opportunity to learn humility.

Humility lesson #3 Humility is learned.

Jesus is our Teacher of humility. (Matthew 11:29) We are merely students – meaning we do not know anything on the topic and in fact need to be taught how and what being humble really means. Jesus invites us to learn from Him what He expects of us. I am so thankful that I do not need to wonder how to apply humility to my life. But, I do need to study and learn from the Teacher. (2 Timothy 2:15) Students are naturally humble. They take classes they need to learn and look to their teachers to instruct them in the topic. Likewise, the humble heart of a student will come to Jesus and learn of Him the more excellent way.

Humility lesson #4 Death alone will bring the ultimate end of pride in my life. 

As a Christian, I have hope for what is to come, a heavenly body and all things to be made new. I can expect to be free from sinful behaviour once I am permanently in the presence of My Lord. Thank You God!! But actually this is NOT what I am talking about. Death to self is the ultimate end of pride in our lives here on Earth (and it is possible!) Once we have practiced humbling ourselves, taken all the opportunities in our daily lives to allow others and circumstances to take a beating to our pride and repented sooner and quicker to our prideful behaviours we will begin to starve to death our self life along with it all the pride that is currently fueling and nourishing that part of “us”.

Pride fuels my self life right now. I am ever ready to defend myself (and God, as if He needs my protection). Ever ready to correct others around me (not in love but in puffing myself up) and to give others advice about lots of things that likely I am struggling with myself or have no idea about  – but I sure feel smart!

I am thankful to my God that He is able to deal with all of that within me and still love me, choose me, keep me and abide with me. Because of His steadfast love for me and hope for growth and holiness, I will keep pressing on to accomplish all of these lessons and make them a reality on my life.

Until then, I ask forgiveness. I pray (timidly) that God will continue to allow things to come against my flesh in order for me to have more and more practice at humbling myself. Every opportunity counts and though it really chafes I will make a point to embrace and welcome these in my life.





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Hello everyone! (well anyone who is still out there!)

It has been a long while since my last post, and even then they were far and fewer between. You can skip all the ramblings and go straight to my newest post here. or…keep on reading!

I guess I could go on and give my reasons why I stopped writing for such a long time and all that stuff, but fact is I just didn’t feel like it. Sad but true. I had SO MANY moments in the past 6 months where I was thinking “this would be an excellent thing to share with others!” but when it came down to it, the moment passed and I just couldn’t get myself to sit here and explain! I regret many of the moments I missed, even now I can not think of them when at the time I seriously thought to myself “this will be great to share, and I will never forget this since it is so awesome!” But ….I can’t remember!

I mostly regret it due to the fact that my purpose in writing in the first place was for that EXACT reason! To just have a “book of Remembrance” of all the incredible things God gets credit for. I used to have those same moments years before I started this blog and filled up notebooks (which I lost along the way) I always wanted to keep records of Gods changing work in my life.  I thought the computer would make it easier and simpler for me to record Gods awesome deeds, and remind me that God is a great God who is present and active in my life. (Sometimes I hate to admit that I forget that!) It did for while…. but then that too came and went for me. I hope that this day will be the renewal of my desire to take time to remember God’s work, for my sake and my memories! (And anyone else out there that may find is pretty awesome what God is up to in others’ lives!)

Anyhow, I wanted to start with something interesting that I learned a while back, and though it will be brief and to the point, God willing I plan to come back to the topic again another time. So now, I will close this post and begin a new one (just in case you aren’t in the mood to read it all, you can just go straight to the lesson next visit.



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God Decides

Well, its been a while since I have posted on here. If your curious about why you can check out all the details here.

Yesterdays sermon at church really had me thinking the past two days.  I love when I leave a teaching and  it stirs a lot of thoughts and questions and reflection in my life.  Its the best sign I have for myself to know that I am growing.. or at least that God is trying to grow me up and if I am willing to allow Him then I will be growing!

Allowing God to change me is a whole other topic that I can’t get into here, but needless to say this is the most difficult part of God’s work I am sure! It is a clear demonstration as to why God’s mercy would need to be new every morning. Ever wonder why that might be? Come and meet me and you will have all the answer you need 🙂 Lam. 3:22-23  It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

God is great though! And as is usual for me, my thoughts tend to ruminate around His greatness, our lameness and how we can fit together with such a Holy Lord.

The sermon was short and sweet, but extremely effective!  It brought up some questions that I needed working out, and I am ever so thankful for my very understanding husband to work with me through my thoughts and questions.

Basically I left thinking about our circumstances and how no matter what situation or place in life you may be right now, God is fully in control and the long and the short of it is that He allows you to be where you are for His glory. If one is a born-again spirit filled follower of Christ Jesus, and are walking in a manner that pleases Him as best you can and your ever striving to live in obedience than basically you are where God wants you to be. That made me think about the most simple parts of our lives.

For example if I wanted to change my job….I am free to do so. It is wise to pray before hand but generally speaking we are free to choose our jobs and God has given us the liberty to do so. (1 Corinthians 6:12-20 and 10:23-33 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. ) But it occurred to me that even if I changed my job my overall living arrangements, situation and financial position at this current time in my life will not be improved hardly at all (if anything it would decline) if I changed my job. It kinda makes me laugh. If God wants me to make more money then I will! In the earth there are principles I need to adhere to and in the natural I need to meet these, but If God wants me to make more or less money, move further or closer to home, or be married or unmarried, have children or not…..whatever it is, God is fully in control and at the end of the day He gets to decide! (For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Ps. 75:6-7)

It makes me so in awe of Him. How much love He has for us, How strong he is to carry our burdens and give us His, ( Matt. 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.)and how well He can manage our lives even when we give him the mess we made out of them!

It really takes the pressure off! I know that I have to do what I can to meet the goals and requirements of the natural order here on Earth, but in addition to doing my part I have God! No one can do His part and His part will always take precedence over anything else.  This has also helped me to really understand the necessity of prayer and the importance that we must learn to give prayer in our life and relationship with God. (more on that another day.)

So that’s what I have been thinking about!

Talk to ya later!!




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Passion and Purity

This is a book by Elisabeth Elliot. If you are not familiar with her life and story I recommend looking her up….But it is not for the faint-hearted! Let me tell you, her life scared me and gave me new fears I had never even thought about fearing. But its an amazing example of Gods grace and mercy in life so I still recommend it!

I was reading this book, and though I thought it would help me to keep my focus on God while in the midst of a relationship and waiting for marriage, it really didn’t pertain to this type of life. I mean it was still really good and helpful, but I much more suggest this book for those who are still waiting for God to manifest their mate for them or confirm singleness. It would have been a huge help a couple of years ago for me! None the less there is always something to learn.

I just want to share some things I gleaned from the book in the hopes that it will strike a chord in someone else and be an encouragement for those who are growing weary of the fight.


When we are attempting too and striving towards surrendering to the Lord we must keep in mind: an utter yielding of our best. So as long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never really grasped its true meaning: that is not worthy of the name for “no polluted thing” can be offered. This really made me think. How often I struggle to surrender and yield up the sins I have taken for my own, and the wrong thoughts, actions and emotions to the Lord, knowing they displease Him, I offer them to Him in the hopes of pleasing Him. But isn’t it true that offering Him sin and polluted things is similar to what Cain did when he offered fruits of the ground which God Himself had already cursed?

I used to often think about how broken I was. That I was useless and too big of a mess for even Jesus, how could I possibly be given in marriage to another? If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will only satisfy a little lad”.


I am not naturally a patient person. Actually in Bible study this week we discovered that I am actually not impatient either. I know what your thinking…how can you not be either. But its true! I actually have no time to be impatient! haha

I act so quickly and immediately that truly I rarely have time to feel impatient. BUT this is not a good thing! Slow to speak quick to listen the Bible teaches… I am not very slow at anything at all and this oftentimes gets me into trouble or regret. But it also leads to me being so independent and I do not rely on others very well, because factually its faster if I just do things myself. Patient waiting is an important discipline for anyone who wants to learn to trust. Truthfully it is hard for me to trust anyone because I do most of all things myself. When I do find myself in the place that I need to trust someone else to take care of something, I am anxious (impatient!) fearing they will take too long, or wont do it in time. Now usually I am right. People do tend to do things much slower than me, but I need to be merciful and realize that a) its done just as well and the timing is rarely as important as I make it out to be. b) often its done better because others took the time to look at the fine details that I tend to overlook or miss completely and in the end I am very thankful that someone else took care of it instead of me.

Waiting will not be the same for all people. I hear stories that were meant to be encouraging but was actually terrifying, examples such as “I know someone who was 56 when they got married, never give up!” “My daughter was 49 when she met her husband and she’s never been happier” “I waited 16 years but God was faithful”. The list could go on and on! Me personally? I waited almost 8 years, though I only waited well about 1 year so I don’t know if the first seven years even counted! Each of us will have to take Christ’s yoke upon ourselves and learn of Him. I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.It is easier to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence – easier sometimes then to wait patiently.

This is so so true! When I said I waited well only one year though I was waiting 7 years I meant it. I got myself into situations and relationships that were not pleasing to the Lord, and caused both of us much pain and heartache that could have been avoided if  I had simply obeyed and waited well. Instead I greatly hurt others, and God as well as myself because of my selfishness to make things happen instead of resting in patience.

I will end it here today. I have much more thoughts to share and may do so in the next installment. But for now this is enough for me to chew on again.

Reflect and meditate on Gods word, and HIS definition of patience and waiting well. We can all learn from Him. The True example of Surrender and Patience for us to follow


What’s the Point?

I’ve been really thinking about a ton of things these days. In regards to my walk with the Lord and my Christianity in general, my focus has been shifted some what and I can honestly say that I have a completely different view about things than I have ever had before.

I am not really sure of everything that may have brought on my change of focus and perspective but I am sure it is likely a combination of factors and people in my life that have helped to lead me here, in addition to books I have been reading ect..

My first thought is about salvation. There are so many times in the past that I doubted my salvation and was not really sure that my motive was blameless and holy at all. In the past 2 years I had pretty much over come that, with faith and placing my security in the cross and blood of Jesus Christ. However, it seems to be cyclical and recently I have struggled again with condemnation and uncertainty about my spiritual health.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. For one, it causes me to really evaluate my life and actions, as well as thoughts and responses. It also helps me to have more fear of the Lord and we can always use more of that! But on the other hand, I think it causes my focus to be off of the Lord and onto myself, and my own life. This is not a pretty place to be!

Now, I have really come to a place where I feel for once that my love for the Lord is more genuine and sincere than it has ever been.  I made an absolute decision that no matter what I was feeling or thinking, I would serve the Lord and honour Him in my life and choices no matter the outcome.

As a Christian this is the basic thought most of us have, and think we have towards God in general, I would guess. If you ever asked me I would be confident to declare this absolutely. However, I came to realize that I did not quite understand the Lord or the motives behind my life.

God is God! He is Amazing, Glorious, Perfect, Wonderful, Loving, Forgiving, Righteous, Holy. I mean the list could go on and on. But how often I had an incorrect perspective about our relationship.

I often hear Christians talking about Heaven. It’s such a glorious place, no more pain or suffering. Heartaches are gone, illness does not exist, bodies are made whole ect.. All the very truthful and biblical descriptions of heaven are always all around us. Oh ya and God will be there too! Isn’t that great?! But I realized that so often we talk about heaven as a place where things are wonderful instead of talking about WHO is Wonderful. The benefits of heaven and the great things we look forward to when we get there are so excellent, but more than that GOD IS THERE!!! Those things are a result of God’s presence. How much more I wish we would emphasize God for HIM, who He is, rather than what He does and gives us.

Frequently,  I hear the fear of hell and wanting to run towards The Lord for Salvation. He does in deed save, but should I not rather fear God than hell and run into His Arms instead of into His Kingdom?

I have firmly decided that I Love God truly, and that I will love Him no matter what. Today, my motive for loving Him is not simply to get to heaven, or even to be with Him one day. I love Him because He is God! He is worthy and He deserves so much more than even the most I have to offer Him. I choose to love and serve Him. Heaven is no longer my goal. Salvation is also no longer my goal because I realized that in the midst of assuming I am actually unsaved I continue to serve the Lord anyhow. The only reward I seek for is to know that I have served the Living God, Worthy and Perfect One as best I can and with all the resources He has given me.

If God has mercy on me and chooses to extend His salvation to me in the end then I will gratefully rejoice. If not, than He is righteous and Just anyhow so I will still be grateful that in my little time here on earth I had the opportunity to converse and serve Him anyway.

I am striving towards God and no longer heaven, I am loving Him because He Is and not for what He can give me or promise me.

 I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy. (Exodus 33:19b)

May we all be found in His Grace and Mercy for another day.




Its a weird time in my life. I am absolutely on top of the world! But its almost like my emotions are so overwhelmed I cant even think to write or know how to express them.

Its been nearly 3 months since my last post. So much has been going on and one would think that I would have so much to say and so much to write about. It’s true I do!
But instead of having all these ideas and thoughts and great posts to write (haha) It seemed my brain shut down and I could only enjoy the emotions I was experiencing but never articulate them.

I miss posting! I really truly do. There were so many times I thought I had some great material to share or insight I had learned but every time I tried to type it…. I just couldn’t!

Well I hope that today that wall has come crumbling down and I will be able to get back to writing and posting like never before!

Thanks for all your messages of support and waiting for the postings! I hope it was worth the wait!  (Yikes!)


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Concerning Discerning

There are some things in life and about my life that have often puzzled me when I take the time to think about them… or am faced dealing with them directly.  One of those things that has been keeping me up these days is the differences between feelings and emotions. In fact it took me until just the other day to realize there was in fact a difference between them. At least there is for my understanding and purposes.

The definitions are as follows:

emotion  e·mo·tion (ĭ-mō’shən)
n.  An intense mental state that arises subjectively rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling.

feeling                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    n.  An affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires.

According to these definitions, feelings and emotions are connected and are often in many dictionaries synonyms of the same expression.  For our everyday purposes this works and makes perfect sense. I am often using either word interchangeably when having conversations. However for expressing my spiritual self it doesn’t work the same way. Now maybe I just don’t know the word I should be using, or the one that is meant to express that which I am often trying to understand myself, but either way I need to clarify the differences.

I want to show a difference between them because I am a Christian and I trust in the Lord to lead and guide me in His Word and in His ways. This is still a great and amazing mystery to me!

I struggle sometimes with my emotions. Those unconscious reactions to what is going on around me. These are always for me situational and subjective. My emotions are fickle. They change very quickly depending on whats happening and what I’m doing. I can not choose an emotion nor prevent an emotion from rising up in me. But I can control the emotion and control my physical response to that. ( Well at least theoretically I can, the reality of me doing this is not always the case). I can shut up when I want to scream, I can run when I want to fight, I can clean when I want to cry.. you get the idea.  I also believe that our thoughts can add or take away from  the effects of emotions.

If I am angry thinking about the thing that made me so angry always makes me angrier. When I’m sad continuing to replay the sadness makes it nearly impossible to stop the tears but on the other hand of I  think of something else, even neutral, I can tuck those emotions away and go on with my day.

So where do feelings come in I guess you may be wondering…and whats the big deal of talking about why they may be different…

Well,  when I have been at a critical point and a very specific decision needs to be made, and I have prayed for Gods direction.. there is that moment when I know what God has told me to do. How do I know? I don’t know!!! It’s just  a very deep peaceful feeling that I know what the right action is to take.  I have a feeling of peace though the situation may not be peaceful. I have a feeling of confidence in the choice though I may not know the outcome. Sometimes its directly against the thing I want to do… in that case it’s bizarre to have a feeling toward something that I want and yet a different feeling toward that thing I feel God is directing me toward. I can not explain this. I hardly understand it at all. How does that work?

Now this is very important to be able to distinguish between a feeling and emotion. Especially for  me as I go to a rather charismatic church and though my pastors are not overly emotional the congregation can often respond that way. It’s important for me to differentiate when the people are flowing out of emotion and when the spirit is flowing freely.  I am blessed in that I have a rather critical heart..and in comparison to others I too am not overly emotional. I never enjoy experiences but always want the lesson that God is teaching. But I can not say with certainty that at times I don’t mistake my emotion with feeling that God is leading me. It happens! I wish it didn’t but I have no perfected discernment.. on the other hand I have gotten more deliberate and take time to act or speak to be as certain as I possibly can when I feel God is talking vs when I know its my emotions just on a rampage! I have gotten better at discerning and continue to grow as God provides me with lessons and situations.

I hope to have a more biblical understanding of this as I study about it. I know that God has provided the answers to my questions through His Word and when I take the time to search it He will teach me along the way. (Proverbs 25:2)

Maybe next time I will be more capable of discussing the differences between confidence and  confirmation.

Blessings 🙂

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